Fear

Fear is an emotion that is capable of controlling your decisions and actions.  Recently, as I approach a time in my life where I will endure a lot of change, I have discovered the type of feelings fear can ignite.  It can force you to turn down great opportunites, take for granted your successes, and restrict you from experiencing the excitements in life.

For my entire life, I have been sheltered by my family, friends, and authorities.  I have created a routine that has allowed me to stay within my comfort zone. For years, I have returned to school in the fall, I have played soccer year-round, I have maintained many friendships, I have lived under my parents roof, I have gone on family vacations, and I have jumped from one job to the next.  After having something for so long, it is difficult to walk off that beaten path.  Don't get me wrong, I have ventured out of my limits by taking chances and learning from my mistakes, but I have always remained in close proximity with the people I love the most, the ones that support and love me back.

Now that I am graduating, I am leaving the school that has supported my education and extra curricular activities for the past 4 years, where I have developed many relationships with a diverse group of people.  Although the idea of graduating does not worry me, I have bits of fear that make me question what my future entails.  With my new job, I will be traveling a lot.  The feeling of independence excites me but I find myself scared when I think about being away from friends and family for long periods of time.  Since I have grown so dependent on them over the years, it is an uneasy feeling to know I will be distant from the communication channels I have created. 

As all these feelings envelop my thoughts, I have to find a way to overcome my fearful emotions.  If I were to let them control my life, I would jeopordize my chances of being succesful, of making new friends and establishing a family.